Archive for August, 2012

Guess what….

Monkey butt lips!

It’s Friday. Congrats. You survived another week. Do your victory dance, and smile.


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Fire(works), Kill it with Fire(works)!

I like fireworks. I think deep down, even people who wish to neuter the whole 4th of July celebration tradition, love them as well.

Safety is cool. Protect your friends and family from getting hurt. But that doesn’t mean we should promote the crappy stuff that sucks, and call that fireworks.

Speaking of crap, Who came up with the idea of ash snakes? How much hate do you need in your heart to think that people would want a snake made out of ashes?

Better question: How much of a cheap ass do you have to be, to think buying your kids a stupid box of stupid ash snakes would be just as good as buying that cool bottle rocket firework that shoots high up in the air, and explodes with all bright colors and a cool popping sound? How much do you hate your children?

Wanna know how to keep your kids from putting you in an old folks home? Read 5 Surefire Ways of Ruining a 4th of July Party,  and avoid buying the crap mentioned in my article.

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“Working” From Home.

Working from an office, or from a gas station, or from the frialator is a lot like working from home. If you don’t agree, whatever. You’ll never be successful or productive without the following in either setting:


  1. Drive. You need some internal encouragement to get your tail out of bed, and get to work. This could be for that car you want, that girl who don’t like you because you don’t have that car you want, etc.
  2. Order. If you aren’t organized, you’ll go through hell every time you need to find that thing you misplaced minutes ago. Did you even have it in your hands before, or were you day dreaming about using it? Do you have a clear grasp of what it even looks like?
  3. A Schedule. If you don’t know what to do, why the hell are you even employed.


That last part is actually kinda fun when working from home. You don’t have a very rigid schedule, unless you only do 2 or 3 things to make money. Even then, you can still play around with it a bit.


Example: I like to break everything down to 15 or 30 minute chunks, and do something else after my timer goes off. It keeps me from getting stuck, as I can go back to a task later on, with less stress involved. I’m keeping myself busy while doing this. It isn’t 30 minutes of Zazzle, then 15 minutes of reddit, then 30 minutes of stuffing my face. I try to get everything done as soon as possible.


I cycle through all my work at least 3 times a day. My current schedule lasts for 4 hours and 30 minutes. Once I’m done, I usually go back again and create more Zazzle designs in GIMP, or check the SEO of some of the products I already have online. So if I’m not adding stuff to my stores, I’m doing whatever I can to promote what’s already there.


Without a clear cut schedule, one I trust because I can tweak it to fit my liking for the day, I wouldn’t get half the amount of work done. When you have a ton of ideas for something, you might write them down and go on to do something else. Or, you sit there thinking about how cool the outcome would be if you actually did something. The reward is very nice. You’ll never get it though, unless you write down what it takes to get it, and then follow through on that.


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Rock and Roll is Dead.

Rap fans are really just trolls when you step back and think about it. Hip Hop is dead? Gimmie a break. You’re just copying the rock fans with statements like that.


Did you know that while you may get older, and wish the music stays the same, it’ll always go through changes no matter how much you push back? That’s evolution. It happens in art all the time. That’s why there are so many sub-genres in music. It’s like a living organism.


Of course you think today’s music is shit, when compared to the 90s. Heck man, you have people who feel that way bout the 90s when compared to the 80s. It’s nothing new. The problem is, some hip hop fans don’t get this process at all. You’re kids musical tastes are SUPPOSED to sound questionable to you. You can’t relate, because your whole focus is on another level at this point in your life.


That’s why the Lady Gaga’s of the world exist. She’s this generations Marilyn Manson, mixed with Madonna and Cher.


Rap Fans: get off your high horse, and appreciate shit more.


Now that’s outta the way, I wrote an article last year cronicaling the best Rap and Rock albums from the first half of 2011. While there are representatives from the “real hip hop” side of the dinner table, there’s also some new school cats who impressed me as well. I always laugh at people who shit on music they don’t understand. It obviously wasn’t made for you, so you aren’t supposed to understand it. What’s the issue?

5 Best Rap Albums of 2011(Thus Far)

5 Best Rock Albums of 2011(Thus Far)


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New Zazzle Products from Scorebored

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Real Men Grow Beards.

DENVER, CO - APRIL 19:  Closer Brian Wilson #3...

DENVER, CO – APRIL 19: Closer Brian Wilson #38 of the San Francisco Giants pitches in relief in the ninth inning against the Colorado Rockies at Coors Field on April 19, 2011 in Denver, Colorado. Wilson earned a save as the Giants defeated the Rockies 6-3. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

It’s true. Even fictional men, like Paul Bunyan have beards. It’s like a leather jacket for your face.


Brian Wilson has, what is essentially a Micheal Jackson jacket, hanging from his face. It’s amazing. for all the girly men who are scared to let their manliness grow, I have provided a guide that will compell you to stop being a wimp.


You’re welcome.

How to Grow a Thick Beard, Like Brian Wilson.



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If you don’t register to vote, shut up already.

Registered Voted Red t-shirtNothing sucks more than listing to someone complain constantly about how powerless they are, and how the powers that be have us in mental shackles.
It’s depressing. You ever sleep with someone who was only happy after bumming everyone else the fuck out with that shit? I have. It’s fun to give them something  else to do as a way of silencing the bullshit. But eventually, they start talking again. it never ends. They are like a broken record.
I don’t wanna hear ANYONE, my republican friends or my democrat friends, bitching about who won the Presidential election this time around. It’s 2012. If you pick a side in your arguments, you had better drive that ass of yours to the booth and cast a vote.

Or, the lesser ‘pandering doofus’. Whatever helps you sleep at night


I know, I know. There’s this thing we have called freedom to bitch about whatever the hell you want to. I’m well aware of this. I enjoyed this freedom all my life like everyone else.
Thing is, there’s no reason to bitch if you refuse to take the ball when it’s given to you, and score on the motherfuckers who are on the other team. Politics is just like sports. Not watching the game isn’t going to change the fact that your squad is shit. Unlike sports, you aren’t there just to give your candidate moral support. You have a hand in electing these bums into office, then trying remind them of the reason they have so much power.

“I gave you Power!”
~Nasir Jones

You want to hold these people accountable one minute, then shy away from putting your chips in, and casting a vote. What’s the issue? Scared that the guy you vote for is gonna screw shit up worse than it already is now? Hey that’s okay. You won’t be the fall guy. I said, you WONT be the fall guy! You aren’t the only Romney Supporter. Unless you black. In which case, keep that to yourself. I don’t smack people often. But when I do, the reasoning is supported by polling numbers.

Look, I just get so freaking annoyed by miserable people. I used to be like that. I wasn’t the miserable person who wasted time bitching about politics though. That’s stupid. I bitched about girls not being bi-polar and giving mixed signals all the time. You know, thought provoking shit you can’t really do anything about, and warrants an actual debate. You CAN do something when it comes to politics. Get off your duff and vote.

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